Napoleon Dynamite: Grandma just called and said you’re supposed to go home.
Uncle Rico: She didn’t tell me anything.
Napoleon Dynamite: Too bad, she said she doesn’t want you here when she gets back because you’ve been ruining everybody’s lives and eating all our steak.
Uncle Rico: I’m not goin’ anywhere, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property!
Uncle Rico: It’s a free country. I can do whatever I want.
Napoleon Dynamite: Get off my property or I’ll call the cops on you.
Uncle Rico: Well then do it! Go on!
Napoleon Dynamite: Maybe I will, GOSH!
Ahhh, the prospective memory trigger that prompted my visit to the new place for all things steak, the Beaufort St. Steakhouse. GOSH!
Situated around the corner from The Brisbane, this retro styled steakhouse manages to draw in crowds like a light bulb does to midgies. The bright white glaring sign of a spotted cow and the words “Beaufort St. Steakhouse” garners the attention of passers-by, who try to get a look in through the restaurant’s frosted glass windows. The Beaufort St. Steakhouse aims to deliver steak the way it is supposed to be – back to basics, simple, fantastic meat and potatoes – what the customer deserves. Could this be the next Peter Luger or Lawry’s Prime Rib Steakhouse? We were determined to find out if this was a bull on steroids ready to put a stamp on the map as WA’s leading steakhouse.
It is a cold autumn night and the stars are out. But the four of us are inside, warm, and perusing the menu like fickle-minded feral cats deciding if they should have the Black Irish or Berkshire rat for dinner. We order the Scotch Fillet (medium) with garlic mash and thyme & port jus ($39.00), a Ribeye (medium rare) with two servings of garlic mash and thyme & port jus ($69.00), a Fish of the day ($35.00), a side of Broccolini almondine ($7.00), and a bottle of Paxton AAA Shiraz Grenache McLarenvale SA 2008 ($34.00).
Bottle of Paxton AAA Shiraz Grenache 2008
Glass of Shiraz Grenache
Our waitress presents us each with an Amuse bouche to begin our meal. It is shredded duck on toast with grated apple and a drizzle of olive oil. The savoury and slightly crunchy toast combined with the soft smattering of duck and tangy chewy strings of apple make this a pleasing starter. Our eyes are lit up, and the hopes high. Waiting eagerly in anticipation of the steaks was criminal.
Amuse bouche
The 750g Ribeye which I share with a friend is the first to be served up. The steak is pre-cut for easy serving, and we each take a piece to assess the first bite. The ribeye is overcooked, blackened to a crisp on the outer edges, dry, and tough. It is in fact a well done steak which we are not too pleased about. It is bland and lacking any form of seasoning. Our eyes dart around the table looking for a salt mill to inject a bit of life, but there is none to be seen – an epic fail. Only a lone pepper mill graced our presence.
750g Ribeye for two
Ribeye ordered medium rare
Ribeye pre-cut
The quenelle of garlic mash is textured and chunky just the way we like it. It is soft, doughy, and buttery. A very faint hint of garlic can be tasted but not enough to wittle down a vampire high on A positive. The thyme & port jus poured over the potato mash literally stains it in a deep rich colour. It gives a lemony, slightly sweet, peppery taste to the buttery mash.
Garlic mash with thyme & port jus
My friend takes dibs on the bone, taking bites here and there, with the occasional dip into the thyme & port jus, and then scraping and sucking the rest of the meat off clean. It is the only tender part of the rib eye.
Who wants the bone?
The 300g scotch fillet steak is served medium. It is a little tough to chew and hard to swallow. The quenelle of garlic mash and thyme & port jus are really only the highlights.
Scotch fillet with garlic mash and thyme & port jus
The fish of the day is a barramundi garnished with greens and perched on top of cous cous in a lemon-balsamic vinaigrette dressing. The barramundi is overcooked and undercooked in several areas. Parts of the fish are even raw. This is sent back to the kitchen. As a replacement our friend orders the Pumpkin & ricotta rotola, red pepper broth, roast garlic & pine nuts ($24.50).
Fish of the day
Overcooked and undercooked barramundi
The pumpkin & ricotta rotolo is colourful, vibrant, and is presented nicely. It looks like a Leaning Tower of Pisa with a party hat, standing in a sea of red, with four boats docked in each of the four corners. It is a very rich dish that is hard to polish off. Lasagne sheets form the outer skin of the rotolo, with the top part browned over. Inside is a mesh of ricotta and butternut pumpkin. The dish is sweet, nutty, and peppery with a bit of toastiness and citrus added in for good measure.
Pumpkin & ricotta rotolo, red pepper broth, roast garlic & pine nuts
Our side of broccolini almondine is a dish consisting of steamed broccolini tossed in a light sauce of orange and butter along with a touch of salt. Small paper-thin rectangles of almond flakes are scattered over the top. A spear of broccolini is what we share between us four. The broccolini is very citrus-y and tangy, making this dish an abandoned one. The rest never gets a looking to.
Broccolini almondine








